Costume Mishaps - Parenting Plights & Delights

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is a big favorite for kids. They get all hyper and drive their parents bananas. All the excitement of finding a costume and gathering a stash of free candy - woo hoo! 

I guess I never outgrew the crazy get-ups. 

Sometimes it's not all it's cracked up to be, like when something goes wrong with a costume. 

I have bad memories of Halloween when I was in kindergarten and dressed up as a witch. I wore one of those cheap masks with an elastic string to hold it on. Our class paraded single file down the school corridors and through other classrooms. Johnny, the kid behind me, kept pulling and twanging that elastic string so it hit the back of my head. Nonstop.

I cried and cried, but he wouldn't let up. If only I'd had a broom stick...

One Halloween when my son was seven or eight, he wore a California Raisin costume. They were a hit back in 1986 or '87. Here's a video of a big kid wearing one:

The costumes were popular because of this funny commercial: 

My son thought he had the best costume in the neighborhood, until he walked into a tree and was knocked flat on his back. It was hard to see out of those little eye holes, especially at night. 

A few years later the school banned masks for Halloween parties and parades because masks make it hard for kids to see where they're going!

I think my favorite costume mishap story is from my writer friend, Hobo Annie. She left this comment on my post on October 10th:

"Once a friend and I had to be witches in a play, so we put green food coloring in base makeup. Worked great for the show...but we had to go to school with green-stained faces for a week!"

This is Annie Howland nowadays.
 The green food coloring incident
happened back in high school.

Psst: Just in time for Halloween, she released a new Kindle book, 

Stirring Up Spiders,

a collection of dark tales for grown ups. 

You can find it here.   

Jerry Seinfeld reminisces about one of his childhood costumes: "Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume... Remember the rubber band on the back of that mask? That was a quality item there, wasn't it? That was good for about 10 seconds before it snapped out of that cheap little staple they put it in there with."

Hmm, I wonder why that stupid rubber band on my witch mask held up so well. Figures. 

Do you have any costume-gone-wrong stories? Bad memories or disappointments from trick-or-treating, like poor Charlie Brown who always got a rock tossed into his bag instead of candy?

Do you have a parenting or grandparenting memory

or another story you'd like to share? 

If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too. 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. 

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

I'd like to thank all those who have shared their stories. 

These posts wouldn't be the same without your input.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, 

you can reach me at: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.

Monster Jokes For Kids

I admit I deserve a time out in a creaky, rickety time out chair. I apologize for not commenting back to my followers. Just haven't been up to par this week, dealing with allergies and fatigue. And a toddler who runs faster than his Grammy's old bones can bend.  

Please know you're important to me, and I will be paying each of you a visit ASAP. 

Funny Bones is a bit rattled.

Bad Blogger's Time Out Chair? 

No, please! Not the dark and dreary, dreadful Time Out Chair! 

I ain't got the guts for that!

Please give me just one more chance to make it up to you.

It's your call, friends. I'll leave the punishment up to you.

Moving on, last Friday I promised you some monster laughs, so here you go.  Be sure to share some of these with your favorite trick-or-treaters.

Are you good at telling jokes, or are you like me and can't remember the punch lines anymore? 

Pajama Day Sans Undies - Parenting Plights & Delights

When my nephew Joker was in kindergarten, his class had a Pajama/Pancake party on the last day of school. The family was leaving for summer vacation that day, but Joker had been so excited about the party the whole month prior to it that my sister Cindy didn't want to deprive him of the fun he'd been looking forward to. She decided they'd get a late start on their trip. 

That morning, Joker bounded into the kitchen in his favorite cartoon jamies. "Got your shoes and socks on? Cindy asked.

"Yep," Joker answered. 

"Did you brush your teeth?"

"Yes," he replied, flashing a smile. 

"Got your underwear on?" she asked.

"NO! You don't wear underwear with pajamas."

"Well, you do if you're wearing them to school."

"I'm not going if I have to wear underwear," Joker insisted, folding his arms as he took a stance. After awhile, he asked, "Do you think the other kids are wearing underwear?"

"I'm sure they will be," Cindy said. "Do you want me to go around and check each kid?" 

"Yes," he answered, thinking his mother was serious.

Cindy told him to march back in his room and get his underwear on.

"No way," Joker said. "Mrs. Keimlick said we're not to wear underwear." 

Cindy could hardly contain her laughter. She knew the teacher would get a kick out of that. "Do you want me to call the other kids' parents to see if they're sending their children to school with underwear?"

"Yeah," he said.

Cindy was going to pretend to call, but then decided to call one mother that was a good friend, just to give her a good chuckle. 

"Wendy, this is Cindy. Is Grant wearing underwear under his pajamas today?"

"We're arguing about that right now," Wendy said. 

Cindy couldn't believe it. As it turned out, Grant did wear his underwear to school that day, but Joker chose to miss out on a great party rather than wear underwear under his pajamas. So, the family got an early start on their vacation!

Do you have a parenting or grandparenting memory

or another story you'd like to share? 

If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too! 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. 

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

I'd like to thank all those who have shared their stories. 

These posts wouldn't be the same without your input.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, 

here's my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.

(The name Joker is a nickname.)

(A version of this story originally appeared in the Highland Community News in June 1998.)

Bad Dreams - Parenting Plights & Delights

Dreams are hard for young children to understand. Experts tell us that children under five years old can't tell the difference between reality and dreams or nightmares.

Years ago my Aunt Clare shared a humorous dream that my cousin Nikki had when she was about three years old:

"She awoke in the middle of the night, crying. I rushed to her room. She'd had a bad dream. I inquired what the dream was about, and she replied that Jeff's (her 5-year-old brother) cowboy boots were chasing her--minus Jeff in them. I had to chuckle when I pictured it in my mind." 

A spread from an altered art book I made with photos 

of Jeff and Nikki when they were little on the page on the right,

Aunt Clare in wading pool with the kids, bottom left.

My sister Cindy told me about one night when her daughter Ballerina was two years old and was "crying and freaking out." Cindy rushed into Ballerina's bedroom and found her kicking and trying to push at something as she yelled, "Get them off! Get them off!" 


Cindy didn't see anything. "Get what off?" 


"Joker (nickname) put lizards all in my bed," Ballerina said, now sobbing. 


Cindy laughed and told her, "Joker didn't put lizards in your bed." 


"Yes, he did," Ballerina said. Cindy tried to explain that it was only a dream, but Ballerina couldn't be convinced that there wasn't anything in her bed. 


"So, I ended up sleeping with Ballerina and the lizards the rest of the night," Cindy said. 

Ballerina and her older brothers, 

Soldier and Joker (nicknames)

Do you have a parenting or grandparenting memory

or another story you'd like to share? 

If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too! 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. 

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

I'd like to thank all those who have shared their stories. 

These posts wouldn't be the same without your input.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, 

here's my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.

(A version of these stories appeared in the Highland Community News in July 1999)

Mom, What's a Babe? Parenting Plights & Delights

Ah, I love how children are always surprising us.

My nephews Soldier (at age 5) and his brother Joker (at age 2)

One Christmas when Soldier was six, his mother read him the nativity story. When she got to the part about Mary bringing forth a babe, Soldier stopped her and asked, "Mom, what's a babe?"

Soldier's father Jim overheard the conversation. "I'll tell you what a babe is. A babe is your mom in a bikini." He winked at Cindy. She chuckled along with Soldier and Jim.

Then Cindy went on to explain to Soldier that in this case, a babe was a baby. Baby Jesus in this particular story.

Soldier then wanted to know what a bikini was, so Cindy explained that it's a small swimsuit that women wear.

Satisfied that he now knew what a babe and a bikini were, Soldier listened to the rest of the Christmas story.

A few hours later, the family went to visit Grandma and Granddad. Soldier told his grandma, "I know what a babe is."

Grandma played along. "What's a babe?"

"A babe is Mom in a zucchini," Soldier said with a smile.

Grandma laughed so hard, she cried. Soldier is grown up now, but she still recalls the incident as one of her favorite moments in grandparenting.

Jim & Cindy (in a tankini instead of a bikini)

So, do you have a parenting or grandparenting incident? 

If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too! 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. 

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

I'd like to thank those who shared a parenting story with me last week. 

I'm saving them and will publish some in future posts.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, 

here's my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.

Raising Teenagers

Last week's post was an essay my sister, Pam, wrote when her boys were ages two and four. It's titled "You Can Dress Them Up But..."  If you missed it, you can read it here.

One year when the boys were teenagers, she wrote another essay for our mom for Mother's Day. It's even better than the first essay, in my opinion. I've been telling her for years she should be a writer, but she's not really interested. Clearly, she has a natural talent for writing. See if you agree!

Many Years Later

"My boys are typical teenagers in many ways. They have mood swings, they question authority, and they are outstanding debaters. At times, too, they are confused about life, but they would never admit to that. 

"I was just telling my husband the other day that my oldest son is the smartest person I've ever met. It's just amazing the way he knows everything. Everything I tell him, he says he knows. He knows everything about everything, before it happens, as it is happening, and everything after it happened. His favorite saying is, 'I know. I know.'

"I try to keep the stress level at a minimum, as hard as that is raising teenagers. I try not to fuss over too many issues and I try to overlook petty differences. I believe home is where a person should be able to relax, to be themselves (without being obnoxious), and to have their friends over. 

"My sons have their own private suites with room service right here in our home. And their privacy is not invaded because we have built our home on the honor system and we're practicing living our lives on the honor system, learning as we go along. My sons know that no matter what, I try to understand them, try to make life pleasant for them, try to be a good mom even though I am far from perfect, and they know that I am always here for them. 

"Now I also have a beautiful little girl, the daughter I never thought I'd have. She is my buddy. She still likes to go out with me, loves to shop all day with me and search for coordinating outfits, loves to cook and sew with me and just hang out with me. 

"I'm still cool. I'm still her comfort zone. And I know this will someday pass. That will be sad. But I'll wait for her to come back around. No matter what, and I mean no matter what, I will never give up on any of my children, even when they give up on themselves. I will do this, I know, because my mom did it for me."

My nephews, all grown up. One is a parent now himself!

Invitation to my niece's 5th birthday celebration, a tea party. 

She's all grown up now, too!

The years fly by so fast.

So, do you have a parenting or grandparenting story? If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too! 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. (Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)


I'd like to thank everyone who shared a parenting memory with me last week. I'm saving them and will publish some in future posts.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, here's my address: lynkelwoohoo (at) yahoo (dot) com.

(This essay first appeared in the Highland Community News in July 1999.)