Ghost Jokes With Funny Bones

As promised last Friday, here are more jokes, especially fun for kids, to get you ready for Halloween. If you missed the Pirate Jokes last week, go here. 

Wednesday's launch party for my chapter book, Curse of the Double Digits, was wild and wonderful. It just so happened to be the 10th birthday of the main character, Becky. We have a little bit of cake left over, so please help yourself to some virtual cake.

Thank you to everyone who helped make it an extra-special day that I'll never forget. I was overwhelmed by the awesome support I received. 

If you missed the launch, you can check it out here and enter the giveaway to win a copy of Curse of the Double Digits. I'm giving away 10 copies - 5 signed paperbacks and 5 eBooks through October 30. Just leave a comment and specify which you prefer, paperback or eBook. 

Also, you can enter again on Maria Cisneros Toth's blog post where she did a quirky interview of me and Robyn Campbell's blog for another fun interview. 

Available at:
Amazon

Paperback - $4.99
eBook - $2.99

 Have a good weekend. Do you have any special plans? 

CURSE OF THE DOUBLE DIGITS - Launch Party!

Welcome to the party!

10 Giveaways - 5 signed paperbacks & 5 eBooks

to celebrate Becky's 10th birthday 

and the official release of Curse of the Double Digits!

"Woo hoo! It's my birthday!"

Becky turns 10 on the 10th day of the 10th month!
She expects it to be magical.

The whole class is invited to her party, including Chad, the cutest boy in the fifth grade. So is Darlenie-the-Meanie. 

Becky wants to look cute for her big day, but all her plans go wrong. Really wrong. The magic of turning ten disappears before she even has a chance to blow out her birthday candles.

Things get so bad, she refuses to go to her own party. Becky wonders if the Curse of the Double Digits will jinx her forever.

Available at:
Amazon

Paperback - $4.99
eBook - $2.99

To enter the giveaway, just leave a comment, 
along with which format you prefer, 
eBook or a signed paperback. 
Random drawings will be held through October 30th.
(Sorry, paperbacks are only for the U.S. and Canada. 
Ebooks for anywhere.)

To continue the fun, hop over to: 
Maria Cisneros Toth's new blog,
A Writer's Life of Scraps & Scribbles
for a quirky interview

and also 

Robyn Campbell's 
Putting Pen to Paper
for another quirky interview! 

Leave a comment on Maria's blog 
and Robyn's blog
to enter the giveaways on their sites, too. 

May your luck be better than poor Becky's!

Did you ever have a birthday party when you were a kid?
How old were you? Did you play games? 
What's the best birthday gift you ever received?

Pirate Jokes

Halloween is right around the corner. 

Months ago I made some YouTube videos 

featuring fun jokes for kids 

 told by yours truly dressed as Funny Bones. 

Funny Bones is wearing her eye patch today. 

She be pullin' bones out of her Bag'O'Jokes 

and reading 'em to ye, me hearties! ARR!

Here ye go, mates. Enjoy!

Be sure to share yer favorite pirate jokes with yer friends.

Which one did you like the best? 
Do you have a pirate joke you'd like to share? 

Tune in next Friday when Funny Bones brings more jokes.

Fair winds ahead, scallywags! ARR!

Happy First Birthday WANA 1011

WANA - We Are Not Alone

WANA Blogging Class of October 2011 celebrates year one!

 

In October and November 2011 I took Kristen Lamb's Blogging for Author Brand class.

Kristen is the best selling author of  We Are Not Alone–The Writer’s Guide to Social Media 

and Are You There, Blog? It’s Me, Writer .  

She's not only knowledgeable about social media, search engine optimization, effective topics to blog about, and managing our time so we can focus on writing our books, but she's funny as heck.    

 I learned to hang loose, be my zany self, and have fun with blogging. 

Graphic designed by Rachel Funk Heller

My blog gets more traffic since I took this class, but that's not all. I also made new and long-lasting friendships. Our class has stayed in touch and morphed into a team that shares knowledge on writing, marketing, technical problems, and any other concerns we have. 

When one of us is going through a rough patch, we turn into a pep squad and offer our support.     

WANA Tribe is a new social media site for creatives of all types. It's similar to FaceBook. 

Join WANA Tribe, 

new social media site for 

writers, artists, any creatives.

Kristen's online blogging class is now offered on the WANA International site, 

along with a host of other classes you might be interested in. 

Kristen Lamb recently started WANA Commons on Flickr 

a photo reservoir for WANAs to share images for free use by other WANAs 

without worrying about copyright infringement. 

To join, just sign up and agree to the terms.

To join in the conversation on Twitter, use the hashtag #MyWANA

WANA Party at Jenny Hansen's house the day after the RWA Conference in Anaheim, California.
 Karen McFarland, Jenny Hansen, Ingrid Schaffenburg, Lynn Kelley,
Kate Wood, Tameri Etherton, Kristin Lamb, Debri Kristi

 WANA Mama Kristin Lamb - July 2012

Despite a gash in her head and a mild concussion,
Kristin managed to speak at the Romance Writers of America conference,
then socialize with WANA peeps at Jenny Hansen's.

Steve and Jenny Hansen - Awesome Host & Hostess
Baby girl had been sick all week. They were sleep deprived, but still threw
an amazing party with a spread of delicious gluten free food. 

WANA peeps took turns in the bounce house!

Follow Kristen Lamb's Blog here.

Cheers to all my blogging buddies. If you'd like to join WANA, we'll welcome you with open arms!

"Coming together is a beginning. 

Keeping together is progress.

Working together is success."

~ Henry Ford

Do you prefer to go at it alone, or do you like working with a team of supportive peeps? 

Are you part of any online communities?

What a Scream - Halloween

It's October 1st, and I'm looking for Halloween-related stories, so if you have one you'd like to share, please leave a comment or email me at the address below. 

This is a re-post from last year, the very first in my parenting series, about a scare my kids gave me years ago. 

It was a few days before Halloween. All four kids still lived at home, and I dragged my husband, George, with me to a play at the Montclair Plaza, leaving 16-year-old Tulip in charge of her two younger sisters, Lily and Sunflower, ages 12 and 8. Our oldest, 17-year-old Puck, wasn't cut out for babysitting back then. I'll leave it at that.

The play was titled "Every Man in the Mall," and it started after hours when the stores had closed up. The audience followed the characters all through the mall for the different scenes. 

The theme was death and how every person must face it sooner or later. The grim reaper character creeped me out. So did the spooky, eerie atmosphere. 

Here's a good image of a grim reaper. The video is funny.

About halfway through the play as we headed to the next scene on the lower level, a security guard walked up and read my name tag. Then he asked if there was a 'George' in the crowd. "Yes, right here." I pointed at my husband. 

The guard spoke into his walkie-talkie, "Okay, I found them." He pulled us aside and told us to call home, that there was some kind of emergency. 

My heart sunk. I was at a play about death and now something terrible must have happened to one of my kids. I dialed our home number, but my chest tightened up and I couldn't talk. I handed the phone to George. 

A moment seemed like an eternity as my imagination conjured up horrible scenarios. I prayed silently. Finally, George told me, "They're all right. It's not an emergency." I was able to catch my breath as I listened to George tell Tulip she almost gave her mother a heart attack by calling us. 

As it turned out, Tulip had started feeling sick and was running a fever. Puck and his friend, Durgie, had dressed up as the killer from "Scream" and were banging on the windows and scaring Lily and Sunflower. Then the boys climbed up on the roof, stomped back and forth and pounded on the skylights. 

Lily and Sunflower screamed hysterically. The dogs barked and howled. Tulip tried again and again to settle everyone down, to no avail. She was afraid the neighbors might call the cops, so she resorted to calling us at the play. My cell phone must have been turned off, so she got a hold of mall security and stressed to them that it wasn't an emergency but very important that she reach us. 

Apparently, they didn't listen to that part, and maybe the background noise sounded like bloody murder with the screaming and barking, but they treated it like it was a dire situation that demanded our immediate attention.

It was hard to follow the rest of the play after that, but that was okay because we were thankful the kids were all right. We grounded Puck for life. That was letting him off easy. 

So, do you have a scary or humorous parenting memory? If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too! 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post! (Names can be changed to protect the guilty.)

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, here's my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.

A version of this story first appeared in the Highland Community News in October 1998.

Survivors - Parenting Plights & Delights

One look at the gorgeous tiki hut below makes me think of a tropical paradise. Peaceful, relaxing, a place to hang loose. Can you believe this is someone's back yard in a suburb of Los Angeles?

What a perfect setup for Alexis to house sit for her parents last June. She and little Zack, not quite two, could walk over to visit her 90-year-old grandmother, who lived next door. And what a fun yard for a toddler to run around in.

One late afternoon, Alexis took Zack outside with her to feed the fish in the pond. When she tried to go back in the house, she discovered the door was locked. There's a gate, but it was padlocked. The key? In the house, of course, and the gate was too high to scale.

It was 4:30. She called over the fence to her grandma, but there was no response. What the heck, Alexis decided she could make do for a few hours until Joe, her husband, got off work at 7:30.

She continued to call to Grandma next door, but Grandma didn't answer. Inside the house, the landline and cell phone rang off and on. Soon dinnertime rolled around, and Zack needed to eat.

The tiki hut's shelves weren't stocked with food, just drinks. She let Zack sip a Coke and hoped it would hold him over until Daddy arrived to rescue them.

Soon Zack filled his diaper, and what a doozie! No wipes and no extra diapers, so she hosed him off and had no choice but to let him run around stark naked. He ran all over the yard, rolled in mud and dirt, laughing and having a blast. He reminded his mother of the wild boys in Lord of the Flies.

All the while the phones kept ringing and Grandma still didn't answer Alexis's calls. Joe must have worked overtime because 7:30 came and went. Then darkness fell, so Alexis found matches in the tiki hut and lit the tiki torches so they could see. She helped herself to a Mai Tai and let Zack sip more Coke.

Just when Alexis thought they'd never escape the backyard prison, Grandma arrived at 9:30 to save them. It turned out Joe had been calling and for hours. He finally called Grandma and asked her to go next door and check on Alexis and Zack.

That night they basked in the comforts of civilization, so happy they had survived their back yard adventure.

"No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap."

~ Carrie P. Snow

Have you ever been locked out? What happened?

Do you have a parenting or grandparenting memory

or another story you'd like to share? 

If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too. 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. 

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

I'd like to thank all those who have shared their stories. 

These posts wouldn't be the same without your input.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, 

here's my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.

Little Mimics - Parenting Plights & Delights

Some kids get in trouble if they utter the dreaded 'S' word. Parents, you know what I'm talking about, and big, bad me, I'm going to say it right here in this post, so if your kids are looking over your shoulder, you might want to shoo them away. Here goes, the shocking, scandalous 'S' word - 'Shut up!' (Hey, that's actually two words.)

Rene Reiner is one of many parents who designated the 'S' word as off limits. In the wee hours one morning while doing paper work, she was startled by the loud voice of her 18-year-old son, J.R., telling her nine-year-old son, "Shut up, Charlton!"

It took Rene a moment before she realized that J.R. was in another state and that Charlton had been asleep for hours. Then once more she heard it, "Shut up, Charlton!" This time she pegged the speaker as their pet parrot.

When J.R. returned home, she asked him why he'd been telling his brother to shut up.

"I didn't," he said.

"Then why does the parrot say 'shut up, Charlton' in your voice?"

J.R. turned red, then fessed up, "I've only done it a couple times."

Photo byJessie Harrell via WANA Commons

I've heard other stories of parrots repeating things they weren't taught to say, like one family that spent hours trying to teach their new parrot cute phrases, but it wouldn't say anything. Then one day the parrot started talking, but instead of the cutsie phrases they were teaching it, it said, "Get out of my room!" Then later, "I didn't do it."

Photo by Dana Ross Martin via WANA Commons

This is not the cockatoo mentioned below.

The parrots repeated some not-so-nice things, but that's nothing compared to a white cockatoo I heard about. Yes, this is a true story. Imagine buying such a beautiful bird and wondering why anyone would want to sell their gorgeous pet. Now picture the new owners' shocked expressions when the cockatoo yelled, "Shut the 'F'ing door!" Oh, my, my, my.  What a predictament!

Do you have certain words or phrases that your kids are forbidden to say? 

Have you ever owned a talking bird that said things you didn't like?

Do you have a parenting or grandparenting memory

or another story you'd like to share? 

If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too. 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. 

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

I'd like to thank all those who have shared their stories. 

These posts wouldn't be the same without your input.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, 

here's my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.