Embarrassing Moments - Parenting Plights & Delights

Ginger Calem left a comment on my Holiday Shopping With Kids post that still makes me chuckle every time I think of it. Here's a photo of her little darling when she was a little older than the incident Ginger shared with us. 

Ginger has a few nicknames for her daughter:
Little Pip, Sassy-Pants, Bossy-boots, to name a few!

Here's Ginger's parenting comment:

Ah … kids! Being embarrassed by them in public is part of a parent's initiation to the big leagues! Here's the first grocery store one that popped into my head. I was shopping with my very young daughter who was in the early stages of talking. I took her temperature that morning and announced she was running a fever, low-grade, no big deal. Off to the store we go. In the feminine product aisle (no less!) we pass two senior citizen women who smiled at my daughter and exclaimed how cute she was. My darling daughter announced in an alarmingly articulate manner, "I have a beaver." No amount of shh'ing or repeating 'fever' would stop her from telling everyone about her beaver. Then she asked for a Dora balloon, the one with a dick. STICK, honey, a stick. Yes, I want it with the dick. *Sigh*

Pat O'Dea Rosen said: My parents told a story about toddler me panicking at the top of a down escalator and clinging to my dad's khaki-clad leg. Unfortunately, the leg didn't belong to my dad, but to a guy too kind to shake off a scared kid.


Stephanie D. said: I was shopping with Peanut at Target when she was about 2-ish (and super talkative). We passed the bra aisle and she yells out, "Look, mom, there are your boobies!"

Stephen Tremp said:

What comes to mind was our littlest girl going to the bathroom at Souplantation all by herself. She ran up to our table and exclaimed, "Mom, dad, you have to see my poop. It's enormous!" Then she ran back to the bathroom with such pride. The whole restaurant, including us, burst out laughing.


Jennette Marie Powell said:
First story that comes to my mind is one of the "kids say the darndest things" variety: When my daughter was five or six, my mom took her to the kids' discovery museum. When they got to the insect exhibit, my daughter saw the roaches and said, "Look, Grandma, just like at your house!" My mom (who honest, is a very good housekeeper!) was totally mortified! I was LOL! 


Ah, kids, gotta love 'em!

So, do you have an embarrassing parenting or grandparenting incident

or another story you'd like to share? 

If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too! 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. 

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

I'd like to thank those who shared a parenting story with me last week. 

I'm saving them and will publish some in future posts.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, 

here's my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.

Heart Stopping Moments - Parenting Plights & Delights

When I first started this series, I put out a call for parenting stories. Thank you to everyone who's responded. Following are the kind of memories that get your adrenaline pumping again every time they come to mind:


C. Lee McKenzie of The Write Game shared a cliffhanger (just like a writer!):
Well, there was that one time when I looked out my window to see my youngest clinging to the end of a rope, his legs windmilling over the edge of our property. Now, so you'll see why my heart stopped, our property slopes to the edge of a canyon with a creek below.

Lee's youngest is on the left. The other two are her nephews.

My son and his friends had rigged a rope swing from an old oak and while my son was doing his death-defying high flying act, the limb cracked, leaving him over the creek with no momentum for his return flight!
Have you ever seen a mother fly? The story was that I did that day. And I somehow had the presence of mind to grab the long handled ceiling brush that extended to twenty feet. With that I pulled him back to the bank. You can imagine the rest: lots of hugging, then scolding, then grounding for weeks and weeks, then more hugging. I have flashbacks to that day, and when I do I call that little bugger and tell him he's still grounded for that stunt. In fact, after reading your post, I'm going to call him about it again. I'll tell him it's your fault for reminding me!
Good thing you had the sense to grab that long-handled brush, Lee! How about if you ground him an extra week for me, okay? LOL!


Helen Ginger also answered my call:
My kids are grown now, but when my son was a teen he thought it would be fun to get on his skateboard, hang onto the back of a friend's car and skateboard down the hill to our house. His escapade did not have a happy ending.
Yikers, I'm afraid to find out what his injuries were!

Here's one of  ‪Laura Pauling's heart-stopping moments:

When the back door flew open on the highway and I couldn't slow down and my 2 year old was back there. Thank God for car seats!
I have a feeling lots of you can relate to Laura's experience. Car seats have saved many young lives.

‪Bish Denham shared a scary memory from her own childhood:

OMG! My sister and I were in Puerto Rico visiting our cousins. One day there was something going on up at their school that we went to. That same day a man escaped from the prison that wasn't all that far away.

My cousin and I got tired of being up at the school so we decided to walk home (not far.) It was a very hot and very still day. As we walked by a big stand of bamboo it began to squeak and groan the way bamboo does. But there was no wind! How could it possibly be making all that noise! It terrified us. We just KNEW the escapee was in there. We ran home and locked ourselves in the house. We actually had to be convinced when the rest of the crew came home that it was them. 

The really spooky part is this...they caught the escapee in the bamboo.

Here's Bish at age 11 or 12

That's a pretty scary memory, Bish, and I bet it was the escapee you heard, since that's where they found him! Crazy!
‪
Stephanie, PQW's memory was a freak accident. This one really blows my mind:
Talk about a scary moment. I was riding in my friend Chris' station wagon on the freeway in Los Angeles. My daughter Claire was seated in the very back with my friend's daughter, Micah. The car in front of us stopped short and Chris slammed on her brakes. For whatever reason, the tailgate of the car flew open and Micah fell out. The car behind us started honking like crazy. We had no idea what had happened until we looked back to see why the guy was laying on his horn.

I'm sure glad that other driver was paying attention. Just think what might have happened if they had cell phones back then and he was busy texting. *Cringe*

So, do you have a parenting or grandparenting incident? 

If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too! 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. 

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

I'd like to thank those who shared a parenting story with me last week. 

I'm saving them and will publish some in future posts.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, 

here's my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.

Weird Al's Parody of Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga comes up with some "original and unusual" costumes, don't you think?

Gotta love Weird Al Yankovic. I think he's the only one who can outdo Lady Gaga. 

Those of you who have been following my blog for long know I've worn some pretty strange costumes and makeup myself, so I especially got a big kick out of the wild gimmicks in this video. Not the costumes that barely qualify as underwear (gag), but the real costumes. 

Need a chuckle to start your weekend? Here you go! Unfortunately, there's an advertisement at the beginning that there's no getting around (dang it), but I hope you'll hang in there because the parody is fun, fun, funny. 

Warning: Not for kids. There's no colorful language, but there are some crazy, 'colorful' dance moves.

I hope you have a good weekend. Do you have any special plans? As for me, I'll be packing and moving more stuff. We're losing our house. That's one of the un-fun things I've been dealing with lately, but we'll get through it. So many people are hurting worse than we are. I'll blog about it someday when there's more distance. 

We're living in difficult times. This video made me laugh. I hope it makes you laugh, too!

Learning to Fly Fish - Parenting Plights & Delights

I would like to thank JJ Botta of The Disconnected Writer blog for sharing the following parenting story with me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did:

Years ago, I used to fly fish for trout in the Catskill Mountains of New York. I had a business partner who introduced me to the sport, and I became a fanatic.

Now for those who have never tried it, or those who think fishing is just fishing, it would be a stretch to believe fly fishing is an art. But it is, and fly fishermen are serious about it. In fact, most of us eventually learn to tie our own flies. There is a special feeling of accomplishment for one to tie an artificial bug to the end of a line and fool a fish as cagey as a trout. 

When my son was around six years old, I took him on one of my fishing excursions to the mountains. After camping out all night, we hit the rivers early morning, and I used every trick I had learned over time, but all to no avail. Around noon, disheartened, we went into town for lunch, where I treated my son to pizza, while I talked fishing to the others who got “skunked” that morning. Without paying much attention to the boy, I kept assuring him he could “have” any of the condiments lined up on the counter top at the pizzeria. He always took things literally.

Apparently, everyone’s luck was bad that morning, and the most experienced anglers were convinced it was the fly selection responsible for the lack of fishing action. Determining the exact fly to imitate what trout are eating on any particular day is essential to the art. We were all certain the “locals” knew something we did not, so a group of men, myself included, wandered over to the fly shop, where thousands of flies were offered to the public. The proprietor insisted there were no “special” flies that would yield more success, but we all knew fishermen lie.

As we continued to explore the selection, one gentleman I did not know noticed that the flies in one cabinet had a peculiar odor about them. Soon, everyone in the store smelled the flies, and there was no doubt about it. The locals had a secret.

Once we figured out the special make-believe insects were scented, we started buying up the place. Every fisherman in the establishment purchased handfuls of the tiny lifelike creatures in hopes of a festive afternoon catch. I bought three dozen!

The afternoon failed to pan out. Not a bite. I packed it in around 7:00 pm, and found myself back at the tackle shop in the company of the same fishermen I had met at lunch time. No one caught a fish. As we exchanged ideas and strategies for the following day, I noticed my son over at the fly display. I called to him and asked him not to touch anything. He did not respond.

Then, in a sentence etched into the memory banks of every would-be fisherman in the area that day, I said to my son, “What are you doing over there?” His reply was classic. “Nothing. I’m just putting more garlic powder on these fake bugs.” 

So, do you have a parenting or grandparenting incident? 

If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too! 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. 

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

I'd like to thank those who shared a parenting story with me last week. 

I'm saving them and will publish some in future posts.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, 

here's my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.

Meet a Nubian Princess

My good friend, Stephanie Jefferson, is beyond excited, as most writers are when their debut novel is about to come out, but this is an extra-special time in Stephanie's life. You see, she had a close call with death in September. Her doctors tell her she's lucky to be alive. It's one of a writer's fears, not living long enough to see the book they poured their heart and soul into become published. 


That joyful day is fast approaching for Stephanie. In February, just in time for Black History Month, she's launching her novel, PRINCESS KANDAKE - Warrior By Choice....Appointed to Rule. 


Today I'd like to share with you the inspiration behind this awesome historical novel for Tweens.

All the work Stephanie put into designing 
and making the costume for the model 
to wear paid off big time. Isn't this an amazing cover?

Stephanie Jefferson
Retired psychologist, full-time writer

The members of our writers critique group, Books Born Here,
are thankful our dear friend survived pneumonia, 
followed by a major heart attack a few months ago.

Her husband, a retired fire fighter, performed CPR until the paramedics arrived. 

 She's still receiving cardio-therapy, but she's already made amazing progress,
just in time to do a week-long book tour in February to launch her baby! 

It's been quite a journey, the making of this book. It all started with a little girl asking her grandma a simple question. A simple question without a simple answer. 

Here's an excerpt from Stephanie's blog post of November 20, 2011 that explains the inspiration behind PRINCESS KANDAKE (pronounced Kon-da-kay): 


I have the most beautiful granddaughter on the planet. . . She loves to play dress-up. One day she came to me and said, “Nana, I want to be a princess, but they don’t look like me.” She was pointing at a Disney ad. “Where are all the beautiful brown princesses?”

That got me started. I was on the hunt. My daughter (her mother) and I started pointing out every princess of color we could find. We looked everywhere, at every book, poster, and magazine available and even some that weren’t.

It occurred to me that Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, etc. were sitting on the bookshelves of every library and close at hand for anyone to pick up, anyone except my granddaughter. Being who I am, I couldn’t rest until I did something about it and I wanted a story that would not be time-sensitive and could even become a classic. (Why dream if you can’t dream large!) The research began.

I needed someone from history and the further back the better. I hit upon ancient Nubia. Learning of the power and far reaches of this ancient kingdom were perfect! I started with a picture book, but the tale outgrew that format. It is now a Tween novel filled with adventure, action, conflict, and a hint of romance.


This ancient kingdom is revived in Stephanie's novel, thanks to her extensive research. I wasn't familiar with Nubia until she read chapters of her work-in-progress to our critique group. Nubia is a very real place to me now. So are the characters, although Stephanie says they're fictional, but I'm not so sure about that! 


I'm fascinated by the years of research and rewrites that have gone into this work and the great lengths Stephanie went to for the cover design, which is a story in itself. 

This is one of the shots Stephanie considered using 
for the cover before deciding on the pose above.

In next Wednesday's post we'll learn how Stephanie made an authentic-looking breastplate, a beautiful sarong, and some other cool facts about the making of the cover. 


Have you ever heard of Nubia? Do you like historical novels? 


(Friends, I'm dealing with some difficult issues right now, so if I don't comment back right away, please know that I will as soon as possible.)

Holiday Ding-a-lings - Parenting Plights & Delights

Whew! I don't know about you, but I'm battling holiday fatigue. I do some pretty ditsy things when I'm overtired, like putting eye liner on my lips, pouring coffee into my cereal bowl, and paying the cashier for gas, then driving halfway down the street before remembering I didn't put the fuel in my car.

I know I'm not alone. While the hustle and bustle takes a toll on mothers, many fathers also feel wiped out after all the holiday cheer (especially after celebrating New Year's). I remember one Christmas years ago when my brother-in-law Jim worked long hours as a corporate executive. Each night he came home to a list of chores my sister Cindy needed his help with to get everything ready by the 25th.

One night Jim flipped through the JC Penney catalog and found the special pull-away sweat pants he'd searched the stores for as a gift for his son. He asked Cindy to phone the order in. Cindy told him to do it himself since she was putting the three kids to bed.

"I don't know what to say," Jim told her. "I've never placed a catalog order."

Cindy knew her executive spouse could handle the task. "I'm putting the kids to bed. Call it in."

So, Jim dialed the number, but it was busy. A few moments later, in another room on another phone, Jim hit 'redial.' He didn't realize he'd called the pizza joint they'd ordered dinner from.

A male voice answered and mumbled something Jim didn't understand. "Will this be pick up or delivery?" the man asked.

"Delivery," Jim answered. The man asked for an address, so Jim recited his address, including the state and zip code.

Next, the guy asked, "What would you like to order?"

"R424-0529D," Jim said.

"Excuse me?" the guy asked. Jim repeated the number.

"Sir, just exactly what kind of pizza do you want?"

Jim was so embarrassed, he hung up the phone. He told Cindy what happened and they had a good laugh. Cindy ended up placing the catalog order, then called me to tell me about it, knowing I'd get a big kick out of someone else acting as dingy as I do. A good belly laugh sure helps relieve holiday stress!

Jim, Cindy, and kids

Happy New Year, friends! I hope you enjoyed the holidays and are off to a happy and healthy start for 2012.

So, do you have a parenting or grandparenting incident? 

If you're not a parent, memories from your own childhood count, too! 

Warning: I might feature your story in a future post. 

(Names can be changed to protect the guilty!)

I'd like to thank those who shared a parenting story with me last week. 

I'm saving them and will publish some in future posts.

If you don't want to leave a comment but would rather contact me by email, 

here's my address: lynkelwoohoo at yahoo dot com.